You are not my father

Baby ticker

2008-09-26T03:40:00.001-07:00

Baby Ticker - The Baby Countdown Pregnancy Tickergreat free widgetsWidgetbox

Spuds!

2008-08-21T03:51:00.001-07:00

I'm really not green fingered at all. Everything I seem to try growing dies. But I am pleased to say that I have just harvested a rather handsome crop of multicoloured potatoes.

Hold the bells

2008-02-28T16:05:00.001-08:00

Tonight I achieved a childhood ambition and rang church bells. A very nice couple at St Andrew's church in Great Ryburgh gave me a one-hour lesson on the rudimentaries of bell ringing and allowed me to have a go at doing some ringing myself.
After climbing up a very long ladder to get to the top of the church's cylindrical tower I was shown the bells which date from the 16th Centuary and the mechanics were explained. After a nervous descent of the ladder I was given a demonstration of the ringing techniques and allowed to have a go myself. It was good fun but I soon realised that it takes a lot of skill to be able to ring properly. When the rest of the Ryburgh Ringers arrived for their Thursday evening practice I was treated to a display of their bell ringing. I was made to feel very welcome and I may go back again to learn more.

Dad # 9 - John McClane

2008-02-05T14:20:00.000-08:00

Ok, so he might not remember your birthday or turn up to your violin recital but the school bullies would never dare steal your lunch money.

Fancy a brew?

2008-02-05T14:01:00.000-08:00

I'm growing my own tea, well ... trying to! I've planted the tea seeds first (I have coffee ones as well but the instructions were too complicated to try doing both at once!)
The tea is (hopefully) germinating in a dark cupboard and in 1-2 months a shoot should become visable. The coffee needs a much warmer cupboard than I am able to provide since we do not have an airing cupboard or similar in the house. And anyway, the tea is the more important. I am not particularly green fingered so we'll see what happens but I hope to be brewing up the leaves later this year.

I'm back!

2008-02-05T13:59:00.000-08:00

The past few months as a full-time carer have not left much time for blogging but now that my services are no longer required, normal service can resume....

The only drug I need

2007-10-11T08:32:00.001-07:00

The first time I saw Underworld was 11 years ago and I don't think they could have toured much since as our paths never crossed again until last night. Actually, now I think of it, we did get tickets to see them at Brixton Academy five years ago but had to sell them as we had only just got Max and discovered he was petrified of fireworks. I think the night of the gig was 5th November and we couldn't leave him.

Despite the connection between dance music and drugs I have never felt the need to take anything to have a good night. All I need is fantastic music and space to dance and last night I got both.

Like Sister Sledge I get lost in music and tend to go a bit crazy with my energetic dancing. The wisely priced tickets at £20 discouraged any time-wasters and ensured that everyone who was there really wanted to be there and that there was plenty of room to dance.

During one of my favourite tracks - Cowgirl - I must have got a bit over excited as a girl came up to me to ask if I knew where she could get some pills. When I said no, she got stroppy as if she didn't believe me. Then I noticed that one of the undercover security blokes had sidled up beside me and was giving me dirty looks.

The music was great despite the reliably rubbish UEA sound system and they played most of my favourites. The inflatable probes were quite exciting and I thought they were going to smother the stage at one point.

Karl wasn't as entertaining as the last time we saw him when he climbed the lighting rigging and danced like a mad man in a woolly hat. I suppose he's getting a bit old for it these days - as am I. Actually, when I said music was the only drug I needed it wasn't strictly true. A couple of Neurophen for my post-rave achy back were needed this morning.

Oh, and for the journey we listened to the mellow tones of Radiohead and their In Rainbows album which I downloaded that morning for 3 quid - bargain!

The miserable world of Editors

2007-10-10T08:18:00.000-07:00

I love Editors and we saw them for the second time last week. I can't help but jump up and down when I hear their music and I have to listen to it as loud as I can to really appreciate the soaring guitars. However, the lyrics are very repetitive and very miserable. There is nothing wrong with a bit of misery. Good songs usually need emotion and passion to make them good - see the Smiths, Joy Division, Radiohead and Suede - but Editors are really quite depressing if you listen too closely. So I haven't... until now!

Here, for your enjoyment, is my top ten miserable Editors lyrics ...

10) I'm drained and I'm empty (Escape the nest)

9) Don't want to go out on my own anymore. Can't face the night like I used to before. (Well worn hand)

8) Well be careful angel, this life is just too long. All sparks will burn out in the end. (All sparks)

7) If a plane were to fall from the sky, how big a hole would it make in the surface of the Earth? (Racing rats)

6) You don't need this disease, not right now. (Bullets)

5) We've all changed from what we were. Our broken hearts smashed on the floor. (Smokers outside the hospital doors)

4) Everything I ever wanted is right here but soon it won't be. (Lights)

3) More and more people I know are getting ill. (An end has a start)

2) Keep a light on those you love, they won't be there when you die. (Weight of the world)

1) Say goodbye to everyone you have ever known, you're not gonna see them ever again. (Smokers outside the hospital doors)

It is customary to listen to the artist you are going to see on the way to a gig. On the way home, however, you choose as different music as possible to the artist you have just seen. So, on the way home from Editors the other night we listened to The Young Knives and the 2007 French Eurovision entry

Deer safari

2007-10-06T15:05:00.002-07:00

Magic mushrooms

2007-10-05T08:29:00.000-07:00

I love finding little clumps of mushrooms or toadstools that crop up over night and appear the next morning as if by magic. It takes me back to a time when I believed in fairies and how exciting it was to think that fairies lived at the bottom of my garden.

My tea room

2007-09-27T10:18:00.001-07:00

That didn't take long! The shop over the road is empty again with a "to let" sign in the window. I bought a lottery ticket last night in the hope of raising some funds to turn it into a tea room but I didn't even get one number. Instead I have spent some time making up an artist's impression of what it could look like!

Fish N Chick N

2007-09-23T14:42:00.000-07:00

This weekend, whilst sitting in a queue of traffic, we saw a lorry belonging to an amusingly named fish n chicken outlet.

Howard and Hilda

2007-09-23T14:39:00.000-07:00

Last weekend I saw Howard and Hilda with their matching yellow fairisle jumpers in a Little Chef outside Kettering.

Cornish cars

2007-09-12T13:50:00.000-07:00

Since our holiday in Dougal the camper van I have been thinking of our dearly departed Sir Honksalot and wondering what became of him. Simon and I have owned quite a few vehicles between us in the eleven years we have been together and the other night I got out a notebook and tried jotting them down in order of purchase. Not counting the two motorbikes, we have owned 23 vehicles between us in eleven years. So, listed below with photos of the ones that we have photographic evidence for, is the complete list of Cornish cars in order of purchase starting with the earliest. Some stayed with us longer than others, most died but some were sold on ...

1) Blue Austin Metro

Bought by Simon for around £50. Interesting feature was that it had to be started with a screwdriver rather than a key.

2) Blue Austin Metro (Inchpractice)

This was my first car and I learnt to drive in him. He was in a much better condition than Simon's Metro and had a proper key to start him and everything. Named Inchpractice after a character in A Bit of Fry & Laurie, he passed on to my Mum and then my brother. Inchpractice exploded when my brother drove him back from Glastonbury in 2000 with no oil in... or something.

3) Blue 1980 Ford Granada (The Beast)

Simon bought this huge fuel guzzling car on a whim when he thought he was in the Sweeny. The automatic gearbox was a problem and it soon stopped going into reverse causing us problems in narrow cul-de-sacs. Eventually it stopped going forward too. With a little tweaking Simon managed to convince someone to take it off his hands. He sold it to a man who arrived to view it in the train station car park. The car he turned up in was in serious trouble and he unloaded his familiy from it and drove off in The Beast leaving his previous wreck of a car abandoned in the car park.

4) Blue Fiat Uno

This car was a mistake! We bought it from a friend when we moved to London and we didn't really need a car. I couldn't get the hang of driving it and it always seemed to cut out on me. We didn't have it long and sold it to a lady who lived on the same housing estate as us in Peckham. The first time she came to view it it wouldn't start but she was not one to give up easily and bought it a few days later.

5) White Peugeot 106 Graduate

After getting shot of the Fiat Simon managed to talk me into getting another motorbike and we had this as our only form of transport for more than a year. Following a very wet Big Chill where we got soaked on the bike and our cheapo tent leaked we decided to go back to four wheels. We had spent time in a friend's VW camper at the festival and we decided that we would get one too. However, to sell the bike quickly as winter was approaching, we took a Peugeot 106 as part exchange. Luckily we didn't have it for very long before we found someone happy to take it in part exchange for a camper.

6) White 1979 VW Westfalia Camper (Sir Honksalot)

Honky was great fun even though he was left-hand drive and I couldn't park him very easily. We had him about three years which probably makes him our longest serving vehicle along with Mr Green.
We bought Honky from a chap called Miles on Hayling Island and he neglected to tell us that there was no petrol in him. We got about 2 miles down the road in the pouring rain when Sir Honksalot stopped dead. On trying to find a petrol station in a torrential downpour a woman took pity on us and gave us a lift to the petrol station and back again.
We had some very happy times in Honky but he did break down a lot. There was one Christmas when we were living in Farnham when he broke down on Christmas Eve morning as we had just left for Norwich. He conked out going through a puddle on a roundabout but was fine when he dried out. His engine blew up on another occasion and we had to buy a new one. There always seemed to be bits falling off him but we loved him and had festival fun with him on several occasions.
I remember one time when I was very ill and we had planned to go up to Norwich from Surrey. I put my pyjamas on and pulled the bed out and slept the whole way there. We also slept outside people's houses after house parties.
We sold Sir Honksalot for more than we had paid for him (not counting the new engine we had to fork out for) and he was bought by a man who looked like Rob Brydon. I did shed a tear the day he was driven away.

7) Yellow Suzuki SC100 (Gonzo)

Simon bought Gonzo on a whim as he was only £220 and he thought he would be a bit more economical as a run-about car. I had never seen anything so funny in my life when we went to view and we christened him Gonzo because of his unique appearance. Gonzo got stuck in first gear at some traffic lights one day and we could never get him out again so we gave him away free of charge to a man who said he would take him on a race track.

8) White BMW 525E Automatic (Pimpy)

In 2001 Simon and I decided to go to Gretna Green to get married. It was a very long journey and we feared that neither Sir Honksalot nor Gonzo would make the journey so Simon bought Pimpy. We cruised up in style and comfort and when we got back Simon managed to talk his step-dad into buying him from us. He had Pimpy for over a year but then things started to go wrong and eventually Pimpy was scrapped.

9) Silver Suzuki SC100 (Hercules)

Just before the demise of Gonzo we somehow seemed to acquire another SC100. He was in a much better condition than Gonzo, less rust and had a better gearbox. By this time we had moved to Wimbledon but I still had to go down to Surrey to university so had fun nipping down the A3 in Hercy. He lasted a while and I used him when I started at Dogs Today. He was not very good on icy roads and after taking a spin on the ice in Godalming we decided to get rid of him and get a proper car. Hercy also didn't have any heating so it was rather difficult driving him in the snow with the windscreen icing up as you drove.

10) Red Ford Fiesta (Swifty)

We borrowed Swifty from our friend Andrew Swift when we had tickets to go to the Big Chill and Honky broke just before we were due to go. There was no way that we could fit all of our camping equipment into Hercy so Swifty did nicely. Shortly after Andrew moved to the States and we ended up buying the car from him.

11) Red Honda CRX

I don't know if we still had Swifty at the point that Simon bought the CRX but I suspect he traded him in. I remember this car being rather nice and it was the car we took to Battersea when we got Max. It didn't have a proper boot as such but Max laid perfectly still in the back of it all the way home.

12) Maroon Ford Escort

This was my sensible car to commute to work. It had a heater and back seats and seemed terribly boring compared to what I was used to. Still, he served his purpose for a while.

13) Brown Triumph Dolomite

Simon bought the Dolomite when he fancied himself as a bit of a second-hand car dealer and thought he could make a few quid on this car. Needless to say he didn't and we had trouble shifting it. It was around this time that Simon's insurance company telephoned him to say that now he had five vehicles he would qualify for "mini fleet" insurance.

14) Blue Ford Escort

This must have come after the CRX I think. I don't know why we ended up with this car, it wasn't very nice. Simon bought it from the mechanic we used in Godalming.

15) Green Subaru Impreza 1.8 GL (Mr Green)

While I was at Crufts in March 2003, as well as losing his wedding ring, Simon bought Mr Green. I must have had a bit of a skid in the Escort because Simon decided that I needed a four-wheel drive car. Mr Green was complete luxury and the nicest car I had ever driven. He had a CD player and stereo speakers that both worked. He had his indicators on the proper side, plenty of boot space, nice tight gears and power steering. If it had not been for me falling in love with Mr Sparkle I would still have Mr Green. He was a wonderful car and had done so many trouble-free miles.

16) Black VW Corrado

Simon was feeling the need for speed and eventually had to get something a bit sportier. After reading very favourable things about the Corrado Simon found one and bought it. He really wanted a Subaru with a turbo but couldn't afford it.

17) Black Subaru Impreza WRX Import (Mr Black)

Our financial situation hadn't changed but Simon worked out a way to get his hands on an Impreza. His friend Chris was a big influence here I think. Mr Black was very nice but after a couple of disasterous trips to Wales Simon could not really afford the insurance or afford to get caught speeding again. Mr Black was sold to a man who lived with his mum and put ugly gold stickers all over the car when he got it home.

18) White Range Rover (Rangey)

Simon decided that economical was the way to go and so we bought the Rangey as it ran on LGP. We had to go all the way up to Birmingham to get it and it wouldn't start. Eventually it did start and we got it home but Rangey was not the most practical of vehicles. I drove it to work one day and felt a bit of a breeze on the back of my neck. I turned round to see the back window had flown open and Max was hanging out of the back.
The Range Rover was swapped via a swapping website with a man who had a Vauxhall Omega. After about 5 hours of the man fitting his disabled equipment into the Rangey he took it away. It then broke and although we helped him out with a new gearbox he was not happy. Judging from the state of the Omega he liked to thrash his engines and had little respect for the cars he owned.

19) Duck egg blue Nissan Figaro (Mr Sparkle)

With the money from the sale of Mr Black we went down to Brighton and bought Mr Sparkle, my dream car, after he was imported from Japan. With only 20,000 ever made they are quite rare. They have gone up in value since we got him as there are now not many left in Japan but I hope to hang on to him for as long as I am able.

20) Green Vauxhall Omega

Max liked this car because it was a saloon so he had to sit on the nice leather upholstery. He even had the heated seat switched on for him. This was an executive car and, as well as the leather interior, it had sat nav, cruise control, air con, electric everything and a CD changer. It was an old man's car and really didn't suit either of us so it had to go.

21) Black Subaru Impreza WRX Estate (The Chief)

Just before moving back to Norfolk Simon decided, against my better judgement, that it would be a good idea to buy another Subaru. It was a lovely car but not very economical with high insurance so shortly after moving we were on the look out for a more practical commuter car.

22) Blue Suzuki Ignis (Mr Blue Sky)

Mr Blue Sky was the same colour as a Subaru but a lot smaller and a lot slower - perfect - or was he? At first we found his bounciness fun but when Simon rolled him spectacularly last May it was no laughing matter. The car was DOA but luckliy Simon crawled out with only a couple of scratches.

23) Black Seat Ibiza (Vince Noir)

I am not sure how long Vince Noir will be with us. It depends if Simon can work out a plan to get another Subaru. Vince is a lovely car to drive, not very fast but very economical which suits us.

Line dancing

2007-09-09T04:09:00.000-07:00

I have a big problem with line dancers. This is something that has been going on a while but I was reminded of it last night while out with my grandparents (who are definitely NOT line dancers)
There is a core of women at the British Legion club who like to line dance. There are certain obvious line dancing tunes that are played but some of them do try to start up a line dance to other songs too. Last night, however, saw the arrival of a new couple who made their feelings towards the dance movement very clear. Both were dressed in bright yellow with tassled jackets and animal print cowboy hats. The man sported quite a grand beard and had what looked like a fox's tail hanging from the back of his hat. They were both wearing cowboy boots.
This couple had come for one thing and one thing only and it certainly wasn't the bingo!
They line danced to everything, including a quickstep and even a waltz which was far too slow. They were hardcore and obviously thought of themselves as good dancers. They did give up eventually and what I witnessed next proved what I have always suspected - line dancers can not actually dance. The line dancers decided to do a bit of "free movement" to something, I forget what it was, and it became apparent that these people had no natural rhythm. They were all over the place. Their arms were swinging and their feet were stomping but not in time with the music. Without the ridgid structure of their line dancing routines they fell apart and revealed that they could no more dance than they could lasso cattle.
Like a military parade these people line up and follow the instructions shouted by their leader giving no thought to what their own interpretation of the music might be. They always look miserable too while they are doing it which I have never worked out if it is because they are really not enjoying it or are concentrating so hard not to fall out of line they forget they are putting on a show.
Dancing should be spontaneous - an expression of how the music is making you feel. Dancing should be fluid, not rigid like a bread stick. It's just wrong!

Devon in a camper named Dougal

2007-09-05T12:00:00.000-07:00

Last weekend we camped in north Devon in a hired type 2 VW campervan called Dougal. It was lots of fun and, although it took me a little while to get used to driving an old bus again, we were soon nipping through Exmoor and making it up some very steep hills and around some rather tight corners.
We stayed two nights in a campsite in Braunton and visited North Molton, Withypool, Woolacombe, Valley of the Rocks, Lynton and Lynmouth. Max enjoyed himself on the beach and we enjoyed some very nice tea and cake.
The weekend went too quickly and we didn't get to see all we would have liked but we were lucky that Badger was there at the same time to show us around. Badger knows north Devon well and had already sniffed out all the best tea rooms.

Empty shop update

2007-08-22T10:07:00.000-07:00

It would seem that the empty shop over the road from me is now an antiques stroke interiors shop. I am very disappointed as it means they do not sell anything I can eat.
I don't think it is the best location for a shop of that type so it may be my tea room one day after all...

Karen Cow

2007-08-20T14:21:00.000-07:00

I feel incredibly proud that I have had a cow named after me and also relieved that, despite the recent outbreak of Foot and Mouth near her home, she is well and only a week ago gave birth to a daughter - Anna.
Karen and Anna belong to my friends Russ and Luke who have lots of lovely animals on their Guildford farm. Since moving to Norfolk we have missed spending time cuddling their goats and other animals. Hopefully I will be able to meet Karen myself sometime soon.
Thank you to Badger for her gorgeous photos. You can see more of her photography here

Karen Cow

Anna Calf

The green grass of home

2007-08-20T14:15:00.000-07:00

We have a lawn and, thanks to the large amount of rain we have had over the past few days, it has been brought back from the brink of death. The grass is now lush and green and it makes our garden look wonderfully alive. It also makes for a lovely photograph!

The empty shop

2007-08-10T08:04:00.000-07:00

Round the corner from where I live, next door to the Chinese takeaway, is an empty shop. It has been empty for as long as we have lived here, which is over a year now. I have often thought it a shame that it is empty when it could be something wonderful. I had started to wonder if I should try to fulfil my ambition of opening a tea room there. I'm not sure if it would be the best location but it would have been very handy and I had already started to picture what it would look like as my tea room - what sort of tables and chairs I would have, what colour I would paint the walls, and what cakes I would have on the menu.
However, last week I noticed there were people inside painting it white and fixing hanging baskets to the outside. There is still no sign as to what sort of shop it is going to be but I have created a wish-list of what I hope it might be. I know it will not be a Co-op, butchers, chip shop, Kebab and pizza takeaway, hairdressers or picture framers as we already have those in the village.

My new shop wish-list

* Tea room (obviously stealing my idea but it would be nice to have somewhere to go for the odd sociable lunch break rather than sitting on my own at home)

* Bakery - there is currently no bakery in the village, although there is one in the next village but that is not very good and too far to walk to. A French bakery would be good with baguettes and pastries as the Co-op does not do much in the way of good bread

* Delicatessen - with cheeses from around the world and olives and other yummy stuff in pots

* Book shop - this would be great but possibly a bit dangerous with my book buying addiction

* Card and gift shop - very handy for last minute presents and forgotten birthdays. Currently the only cards in the village are from Co-op and they are very poor. They are always running out of wrapping paper too. Don't think the village is big enough to sustain this type of shop though

* Pet shop - as long as it sells Burns and Nature Diet

* Sweet shop - as long as it sells old fashioned sweets in jars

* Gallery - although I wouldn't be able to afford nice abstract art, it would be nice to have a little gallery that changed its stock frequently so I could go and browse

* Fishmongers - for some nice fresh, pre-filleted fish and Cromer crabs

What I would NOT like to see ...

* Mobile phone shop - they suck the joy from me like a Dementor

* Sports shop - I would have no use for that

* Book makers - would attract the wrong sort to the village

I will, of course, blog the new shop when it has been revealed. Place your bets now!

The times they are(n't) a-changin'

2007-08-02T03:42:00.000-07:00

Progress is slow in Norfolk and the best way to illustrate it is to show you these photographs taken at Joyland in Great Yarmouth. I don't know how long the bumpy snails had been there before I first went on them in the early 1980s but they are still there now, exactly the same, over 20 years later.

Me and my nan on the snails circa 1983

Me and my mum on the snails circa 1983

Me and my mum on the snails circa 1986

Me on the snails on my own in 2007

The model village in Great Yarmouth has not changed a lot either ...

Merrivale Model Village circa 1983

Merrivale Model Village circa 1983

Merrivale Model Village 2007

And don't get me started on the House of Wax! Nothing has been added to the wax work collection since circa 1996...

A quest for a book

2007-07-24T17:45:00.000-07:00

On Friday night a few friends and I went down to Borders in our finest Hogwarts outfits to join in the celebrations at the launch of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. However, we left just before midnight, de-robed and went to ASDA to buy our copy as they were selling it for just a fiver. The atmosphere at ASDA was quite different to Borders. No one was dressed up and we had to queue for about half an hour in the ladies' pants section. Still, we got some fruit and veg at the same time which meant we didn't have to go shopping the next morning - hurrah!

One more sleep ...

2007-07-19T09:50:00.000-07:00

It's just one more sleep until I can buy my copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I'm rather excited but at the same time I don't want the series to end. I hope it rains this weekend so that I can spend it indoors reading and not feel guilty about neglecting the garden ... but then there is the ironing too ...

Invasion of the giant snails

2007-07-16T15:13:00.000-07:00

Car park fun

2007-07-16T14:45:00.001-07:00

In the Asda car park, Falmouth, we stumbled across a rather exciting vehicle ...

So pleased were we to find this vehicle we decided to leave a note for the owner ...

Then, as if by magic, in the same Asda car park we found this exciting vehicle ...

So we left a note for them too!

Cornish Cowgirl's Cornish Adventure

2007-07-16T12:32:00.001-07:00

Usually my holidays consist of trying to cram as much sight-seeing in as possible but this trip was different. Yes we did sight-seeing things but we also had two days lazing on the beach and I was very pleased to have the opportunity to read several books from my 'to read' pile.

Our luxury accommodation

Maenport beach

St Ives in the sunshine

The waves at St Ives attracted lots of surfers

The Tate gallery at St Ives - what a stunning building!

A delicious lunch at the Tate in St Ives. The Cornish Blue cheese was so dreamy that I had to bring some home with me

Barbara Hepworth's sculpture garden in St Ives

More sculptures

A nice B&B in St Ives with parking for a boat

Amy gives the pasty shop her 'thumbs up'

A baby cow at Roskilly's dairy farm. This one was only a few weeks old

A Roskilly calf takes a fancy to my hair and rips out a clump to chew on

A proper Cornish cream tea

Swanpool beach

Two groups of school kids at Swanpool make rafts and one of them falls apart

The Eden Project

Land rain at the Eden Project ... LAND TRAIN!

The Eden Project again

Where we belong

Baconsthorpe Castle

2007-07-01T13:57:00.001-07:00

A day on the Poppy Line

2007-07-01T13:46:00.000-07:00

It was 1920s day on the Holt to Sheringham Poppy Line

A garden visitor

2007-06-26T10:05:00.001-07:00

After a day of heavy rain we found this little fellow in our garden. I christened him Arnold of Toady. He didn't stay long but long enough for me to take his photograph...

The best treatment for any ailment...

2007-06-26T10:03:00.000-07:00

... tea and cake (and lots of it!)

First paddle of the year

2007-06-26T09:46:00.001-07:00

Despite a very wet weekend we managed to find the sun out in Wells-next-the-sea for long enough to enjoy my first paddle of the year. The water was quite cold at first but the sand was wonderfully warm.
We ate fish and chips and caught the little train from the harbour to the beach which was lots of fun.

Stunt car

2007-06-22T05:51:00.000-07:00

New shoes

2007-06-20T11:27:00.000-07:00

Hey, I put some new shoes on,
and suddenly everything is right,
I said, hey, I put some new shoes on and everybody's smiling,
it so inviting,
Oh, short on money,
but long on time,
slowly strolling in the sweet sunshine,
and i'm running late,
and i don't need an excuse,
'cause i'm wearing my brand new shoes.

(New Shoes by Paolo Nutini)

Donkey love

2007-06-18T10:01:00.000-07:00

Here is me giving a rescue donkey a bit of love. This photo was take by my good friend Pobol Pobotrol

Hillside Animal Sanctuary

2007-06-18T09:47:00.000-07:00

All these beautiful creatures (and not so bootiful turkeys) were rescued from very cruel situations by Hillside Animal Sanctuary

Max the office dog

2007-06-17T14:40:00.000-07:00

Max the office dog's dog blog has moved here

Making a difference

2007-06-13T10:32:00.000-07:00

I don't know if it's because I've been feeling rather disillusioned and underappreciated recently or if it's the inevitable life assessment that comes with being 'nearly 30' but I've been thinking of what I have added to the world.
My mum always wanted me to be a nurse and I think I would have been very good at the caring side of it but I am not very good around ill people. I just don't have the stomach for it.
I chose the career I did because it was something I enjoyed and I thought it was something I was good at. Now I am not so sure.
I admire paramedics, firefighters, aid workers - the heros of our society who save lives and really make a difference. I would love to be able to do that but I can't. It's just not me.
The odd charity donation just doesn't seem enough compared to the contributions made by others to society. But maybe if you take care of the small things it will have a knock on effect - like the old saying, "watch the pennies and the pounds take care of themselves".
Taking care of my family, and to a lesser extent my friends, is something I am good at and find very rewarding. People tell me I am good at it and it makes me happy. It makes me feel like I have fulfilled a need.
It was confirmed by a personality test that I am a 'compulsive helper' but I knew this already as I am at my happiest when I am helping people. So, do me a favour - make my day and ask for my help!

Mr Perry lives

2007-06-11T09:59:00.000-07:00

When I was a child, before I left Norwich, I used to enjoy all of the interesting characters that the city had to offer. One of my favourites was Mr Perry the puppet man. So enamoured was I with Mr Perry that we actually named one of our dog's toys after him. In 1997 I moved from Norwich to London and in that same year Mr Perry vanished. Coincidentally, when I returned to Norfolk last year so did he.
I knew that he had returned due to the following article in the local paper but I had not seen him for myself until last weekend. He was as good as I remember. I am obviously not the only one to have enjoyed his unique brand of puppetry as he has popped up on YouTube too. To get the full Mr Perry effect, look here

Here is the story from the Norwich Evening News which heralded his return last year. I would just like to add that he and I grew up in the same area of Norwich so I feel that he is almost family.

The puppet man is back
14 July 2006

Following a nine-year break, Norwich’s famous puppet man David Perry is back on Gentleman’s Walk with his one-man show.
For years shoppers in Norwich were entertained, and sometimes enraged, by his unique dancing puppet shows, until stingy benefit bosses ordered his performances to stop.

Now, following a nine year hiatus, Norwich's famous 'Puppet Man' is back on Gentleman's Walk with his one man show.

Street busker David Perry was a well-known character in the city for more than 10 years thanks to his virtuoso part puppet, part karaoke performances.

But in 1997 he hung up his puppets when his incapacity benefit was cancelled because he was out making money.

Now he has returned to his favourite venue after being told he could perform in the city centre, as long as he does not make more than £20 a week.

Mr Perry, 63, from Oak Street, said: “I am now on pension credit but they say I can do this for two days a week as long as I don't make any more than £20. Because I am a pensioner I don't need a busker's licence.”

For the uninitiated, Mr Perry's show consists of a variety of dancing performances from his four puppets; Dougal the purple dog on string, Roy Waller a snake made out of a sock, Billy McDog a canine hand puppet and Big Tom a duck, backed up by music from his battery powered ghetto blaster.

Occasionally Mr Perry himself takes centre stage and sings using a microphone, however he says he has been unable to do this recently because his amp blew.

Mr Perry says that he performs to 'make people happy' and to try and raise some cash. However, he admits that his performances are not loved by all.

He said: “The reaction has been mixed. Some people say how lovely it is and give you a couple of quid but you get some people who call you an idiot.

“I just like to express myself though. But I do get carried away sometimes, I have to admit.”

Mr Perry was born in Hellesdon and has lived in the area all his life. He has worked for numerous firms in the city but has been unemployed since the 70s.

In 1998 he hit the headlines when his arm was broken following an attack by a 16-year-old armed with a curtain pole.

Mr Sparkle

2007-06-11T06:48:00.005-07:00

It's good to be different but sometimes it's nice to be with your own kind. Just sometimes.

A whole cheese!

2007-05-30T09:58:00.002-07:00

I've always wanted a whole cheese and now I have one. This delicious Wensleydale cheese was brought back from Yorkshire by my mum.

A cowgirl needs...

2007-05-30T07:30:00.000-07:00

I have been tagged by my good friend Badger to do a Google-based Meme. In turn I tag Princess Sarah. Heres what you have to do. Go to Google and type in your blogger name followed by the word 'needs'. For example: "Cowgirl needs" - then check out your results and list them.

I initially tried "Cornish cowgirl needs" but did not come up with a single result so shortened it to "cowgirl needs". I think most of these are actually true in my case!

Cowgirl needs your help to form a posse

Cowgirl needs a cowboy to do the Pecos promenade

Cowgirl needs a forever home

Cowgirl needs a pink straw hat

Cowgirl needs to carry her trick rope with her

Cowgirl needs three things: a good horse, a good dog and a tall bush (2 out of 3 ain't bad!)

Cowgirl needs: fancy shirt, stylish pants, gloves, hat, lasso...

Cowgirl needs a place to get things done

Cowgirl needs nourishment

Cowgirl needs a comfortable and fashionable home and barn

Cowgirl needs her feet done as owner has been short on funds and can't afford to have them done

Cowgirl needs time to read when she ain't busy ropin' calves and all that

Cowgirl needs a pair of six shooter pistols

Cowgirl needs a trusty steed

Cowgirl needs to walk to work

My favourite frontman

2007-05-30T01:10:00.025-07:00

This might just look like a rather rubbish photo of me and some 40-year-old bloke with a scary grin but it means so much more to me.

To be able to understand the significance of this photo I will need to take you back to the 14th July 1994. I was an avid listener to Radio One's Evening Session at that time. My GCSE course work was produced with a soundtrack courtesy of Jo Whiley and Steve Lamacq. It was an exciting time for music, especially for a 15-year-old, but the 14th July 1994 was a sad day for me.

The Wonder Stuff, an indie four-piece plus fiddle from Stourbridge, were one of my favourite bands. They had released their first single in 1987 but I didn't discover them until much later when a penfriend introduced me to their music.
I loved their songs as they were so full of energy, and they soon became my favourite band. However, just as I was getting into them their popularity seemed to decline. After releasing their fourth album the band decided to split.

I read all about the split in the NME. Their last gig would be a headlining slot at the Phoenix Festival - they would go out with a bang. I would have given anything to have been there but a 15-year-old with no money and no one to take her had to make do with the radio.

Luckliy Radio One played near enough the whole set of that final gig. I recorded it on to cassette and played it over and over again on my walkman, closing my eyes and imagining I had been there in the mosh pit.

Shortly after, the gig it was released on VHS and it was, of course, top of my birthday list. From then on, every 14th July I would wear my Stuffies T-shirt and watch the Phoenix gig. Sad I know, but I was a teenager then. Actually, this annual ritual went on until 2000 when I was officially in my early 20s. If ever the old question of "if you had a time machine, where would you go?" came up, my answer would always be - down the front at the Wonder Stuff's last ever gig.

Straight after the split, lead singer Miles Hunt presented a show on MTV called 120 Minutes. It was basically a new music show with Miles doing the links and the odd interview. It introduced me to some great bands including Veruca Salt, The Flaming Lips and Weezer.

Miles' stint as VJ didn't last long. He never did seem comfortable doing it and was soon back in the recording studio. His next band Vent did a couple of good tunes and he then recorded a couple of solo albums which were excellent. It was great to be able to buy new material and, although it was quite different from the Wonder Stuff, I loved it.

Then, at the end of 2000 I heard on the radio that the Wonder Stuff were going to reform for a series of London gigs. I thought I was dreaming - I couldn't believe it. I was living in Wimbledon at the time so I bought my ticket. I can't describe how it felt to think that I might actually be able to see my favourite band play live. It seems absurd to me now that they could have been so important to me even before I had experienced one of their live shows.

I sang every word to every song that evening and it was all very emotional. The Wonder Stuff played a week of sell out shows in December 2000 and then again the next year. The band released a live album following the reunion gigs and I was lucky enough to win tickets to the album launch on 7th June 2001. The launch was fantastic and it was great to see the band play in a small venue. Afterwards we hung around and I managed to get Miles to sign my ticket. I grabbed hold of his arm and couldn't let go! He could never understand how important it was to me to have been able to see his band play live after all those years. Not many bands get back together again after a split. I wanted to tell Miles this, to thank him for his music, to ask about the band's future.... but all I could come up with was, "You're the best!". He said thank you with a look of genuine appreciation on his face.

I discovered at this time an internet forum for the band, full of fans who felt the same way as me, and it became my source of news and gossip. The Wonder Stuff had a change of line up in 2004 and released two new albums. They've also gigged fairly regularly since and I have not missed a tour, treating every time I see them as if it is the last. Miles also played acoustic shows at the Half Moon in Putney and, as I had been living in Guildford, I was able to get to them easily. I think we went to the Half Moon three times and through those gigs were introduced to the music of Dharma Drive and Dolittle.

We moved back to Norfolk last year and I thought that would be the last I would see of these great acoustic shows as they normally take place in either Putney or Stratford-Upon-Avon but on 23rd May this year I got lucky!

Miles and Wonder Stuff fiddle player, Erica Nockalls, released an album and set up a tour to promote it. One venue they chose was the Norwich Arts Centre - already a special venue for me as it is where I first met my husband. After a great gig last Wednesday I got to meet my favourite frontman again. He signed my CD and put his arm around me for a photo. I chatted to him more easily this time and he thanked me for coming to the gig.

I consider myself to be a very lucky girl.

The Wonder Stuff then

The Wonder Stuff now

Miles in action

My signed CD

The magic of Montmartre

2007-05-25T03:00:00.000-07:00

I survived Paris and what's more I had a fantastic time. We took about 400 photographs during our weekend stay but I have just picked a small selection for you here.
The Musee d'Orsay was wonderful, the Tour Eiffel impressive and the Centre Georges Pompidou was just plain crazy.
We walked most places to get a good feel of the city and in the centre of Paris it felt just like London. There were impressive things to see but it was generally busy with lots of traffic.
I much preferred the area around our hotel - Montmartre.
If I had been 10 years younger, without the responsibilities I have now, I could have been very tempted to stay. I got completely sucked in by the magic of Montmatre. The beautiful buildings, cobbled streets and so many cafes and boulangeries.
Eating breakfast outside while people-watching was a real treat and the view from the top of the Butte was stunning, especially while watching the sun go down with a glass of wine.
We walked in the footsteps of Amelie Poulain, ate twice at the Cafe des Deux Moulins, strolled down Rue St Vincent and bought biscuits from M. Collingnon.
I loved Place des Abbessess where our hotel was. It had an original Art Nouveau metro entrance designed by Hector Guimard, busking beatniks and church bells which waited until the sociable hour of 9am before chiming.
It was a very special weekend that I will never forget although I think it will be a while before I am ready to spread my wings again.

Spreading my wings

2007-05-11T10:17:00.001-07:00

I'm not usually one for going abroad. I get homesick if I stray too far and develop all sorts of unnecessary anxieties. But tomorrow I'm flying to Paris for the weekend. It is quite a big deal for me but I'm sure everything will be ok when I actually get there. My driving forces are to:
a) give my husband a fantastic birthday as I have avoided going away for so long
b) to step into the world of one of my favourite ever films.
If I make it back in one piece, I will bring with me lots of photos.

Ale to the Badger

2007-05-07T15:49:00.001-07:00

My friend Badger shares more than just a name with this bottle of delicious ale. Both are known for their distinctive and individual character and they both make you smile when you know they're nicely chilled!

Bangers and smash

2007-05-07T15:44:00.000-07:00

The cardigan game

2007-05-04T09:58:00.000-07:00

There is a house I pass regularly in the dark and, without fail, there is always a lady sitting in front of the window reading a book or knitting while wearing a cardigan. I've passed by there as late as midnight and she is there, always in the same position with the light on and the curtains open. The only thing ever to change is the colour of her cardigan. She has a wide range of cardigans, but always solid colours, nothing fancy. I began to notice that sometimes she would change them every day and then other times she would wear the same one for several days in a row.
This is how the cardigan game was born. On approach to the house now my travelling partner and I state which colour cardigan we think she will be wearing. Whoever is correct is the victor!
We have been playing the cardigan game for quite some months now and I hope that we can continue to play it in the summer when the weather is warmer...

Sheep love in Gloucestershire

2007-05-04T01:18:00.000-07:00

Fantastic Frontmen

2007-05-03T09:48:00.000-07:00

A live band has to have a fantastic frontman, there are no two ways about it. It can have a fantastic frontwoman too but this is very rare! Recently I have been pleased to see that we still have REAL performers out there who give you a show and make you feel as if you have had your money's worth. Too many bands these days just seem to stand in front of you playing their instruments and they may be musically perfect but it is just not on!

The first of these excellent bands I have seen recently is The Young Knives. TYK benefit from not one, but two fantastic front men. Henry and House of Lords both share the vocals and they can sing (quite high at times) at the same time as entertaining the audience. Their inbetween-song banter is funny and their lyrics are even funnier. We sang along to the old favourites at the Norwich Waterfront and got very excited by their new material from an album which will hopefully be out at the end of this year.

Here is a pic of House of Lords belting out a tune, taken by Simon

Here is a pic of Henry and House working on lyrics for their new songs

The next three groups were all on the same billing at the UEA in Norwich last night. What a fantastic bargain! £13.50 for all three and we even escaped paying for the car park.

Cougar, from Wins-scones-skins (I believe that is how it is pronounced) in the USA, had rather unique frontman. Well, he wasn't really at the front, he was at the side on percussion and there were no vocals to their songs but he did the chat in between so I guess he was 'the man'! I have never seen such enthusiastic drumming - it was also a bit freeform in places - incredible! The band describe themselves as, "emergency rock", which I don't really understand but they were really good. I also liked the fact that they had a nerd on stage playing samples from an Apple laptop while drinking tea out of a little polystyrene cup.
I have since found out that the drummer's name is D.H.Skogen which is a very good name for a frontman I think. And here he is...

Next on the billing was Art Brut who I had heard of previously but didn't think I knew any of their stuff. Turns out I did recognise one of their songs but didn't know it was them. Art Brut are another band with a fantastic frontman. He can't sing - he doesn't even try - and it really doesn't matter. For the first couple of minutes I just stood with my mouth open, I couldn't quite believe it. They sounded like a cross between The Young Knives and Sultan's of Ping. Frontman is Eddie Argos apparently, but there is no way that is his real name!
Eddie (?!) really connected with the audience, ad libbed the songs to include many references to Norwich and generally threw himself around like a mad man.

Here, for your pleasure, is a pic of Eddie Argos...

Now the main attraction - the reason for our visit to the UEA last night... Maximo Park. I originally saw them a couple of years ago in London just after they had released their first album - A Certain Trigger - and they were so impressive that I couldn't wait to see them again.
The band has just released its second album - Our Earthly Pleasures - which I have only owned for a matter of days but tried to get as many listens in before last night as I could. The new stuff was brilliant live and the old favourites were just as fresh as when I saw them two years ago.
Singer Paul Smith is another fantastic frontman and last night he was sporting a bowler hat. I can't imagine what he did to keep it on his head while he threw himself around the stage and thrusted at the mic stand. Again he connected with the audience really well and briefly told the stories behind the songs. They did not play my favourite song but everything they did play was excellent and they just ran out of time I guess. Here are a couple of pics of Maximo Park in action - the first one was taken by me last night...

My favourite frontman is yet to come! He is coming to Norwich in a few weeks so this isn't the last you'll hear from me on this subject!

Beanbag not supplied

2007-05-03T09:21:00.000-07:00

I've got a bit behind with my gig blogging of late so here is the start of lots of musical musings. The first of these is Scott Matthews at the Norwich Waterfront. I've been enjoying Scott's music for a few months now and since I got the album Passing Stranger for my birthday in February it has been pretty much a constant fixture in my iTunes. I love his dreamy songs and funky tabla bits and I was very interested to see how this would sound live.
When Scott walked out on to the stage with his guitar and started playing his first song a hush spread across the audience. I had forgotten what it's like to see a proper guitarist and the way he produced such a rich tapestry of melody, harmony and rhythm from one instrument was spellbinding. I found that for most of the gig I had my eyes shut, floating on the music, and I really could have dozed off if I had been sat down. I guess everyone would have been asleep if beanbags were provided so it's probably for the best that they weren't. My favourite songs from the album were interestingly not my favourite live. The best song I thought was "Eyes wider than before" when Scott played with a cellist and the instrument's long soaring notes made every one of the hairs on the back of my neck stand to attention. Having listened back to the song on the CD you can hardly hear the cello which is a real shame.

Chain reaction

2007-04-25T06:25:00.000-07:00

Dog walking in the winter is putting your wellies on, your hood up and getting it over with as quickly as possible. But in the summer I never want our walks to end. Max rests in between running after his tennis ball while I stretch out on the grass and make daisy chains. I don't remember ever making them as a child. I probably didn't appreciate them when I was young. I am making up for it now though!

Dad # 8 - Bill Murray

2007-04-24T09:49:00.000-07:00

Bill Murray has kids about my age so this is a good start. I have no idea what he is like but he is one of my favourite actors starring in some of my favourite films - Lost in Translation, Ghostbusters, Broken Flowers, Rushmore, Scrooged and Groundhog Day. Ever seen a bad Bill Murray film? I thought not!

My 10 commandments

2007-04-10T11:03:00.000-07:00

Following on from Scroobius Pip's excellent Thou Shalt Always Kill I have decided to compose my own 10 commandments - those rules that I live my own life by. I challenge you to do the same!

1) Thou shalt not watch a film starring Tom Hanks unless it is Big or The Burbs

2) Thou shalt not eat Pot Noodle

3) Thou shalt not drink at gigs

4) Thou shalt not leave thy teabag unattended

5) Thou shalt not wear uncomfortable shoes

6) Thou shalt not say "PIN number" or write a London phone number with a four figure dialling code

7) Thou shalt not underestimate Dr Quincy

8) Thou shalt not follow soap operas

9) Thou shalt not swallow Nytol with caffinated tea

10) Thou shalt not line dance

Five things you may not know about me...

2007-03-23T11:13:00.001-07:00

My good friend Badger set me a challenge to come up with five things that people may not know about me. I'm sure that they won't all be a surprise but the best I could come up with at the present time!

1) I have a fear of jelly beans

2) I belong to a secret film club, which very rarely watches films

3) When I was very little I used to enjoy sitting in a bowl of water in the garden and then making 'bottom prints' on the patio

4) Due to my love of stamps and ink pads I had ambitions to work either in a post office or a library. Now these professions are computerised, I have lost interest

5) An Australian relative of mine (great uncle or something) played cricket for Australia for many years and I am reliably informed that he was very good. His name is Ian Redpath

Badminton casualty

2007-02-28T02:50:00.000-08:00

Was it the cheapness of the racket, the Carlton performance shuttlecock or the sportsmanliness of Simon's serves that resulted in this court based carnage? Ever the professional, Simon played on winning 2-1. Unbelievable!

Pancakes

2007-02-23T01:21:00.000-08:00

Bloc Party @ UEA

2007-02-08T02:55:00.000-08:00

Went to see Bloc Party at the UEA on 28 Jan and it was excellent. It was very busy and I got squashed and trodden on and the sound quality wasn't brilliant (as usual at the UEA) but they rocked!
Despite the band's new album not going on sale for another 2 weeks, punters obviously knew the new songs quite well as everyone was singing along. It's on my birthay list and I can't wait to hear if it is as good as its predecessor - Silent Alarm.

Storm damage

2007-01-19T03:44:00.000-08:00

Poor Mr Pot Head got blown to his death yesterday afternoon when strong winds hit England and Wales. Several fences in the street blew down and there is debris strewn everywhere this morning. It was scary!

Dad # 7 - Eugene Levy

2007-01-18T09:44:00.000-08:00

Who loves Eugene Levy? Surely everyone!

Eugene is perhaps best known for his roles in the popular Christopher Guest-directed films, acting as "Jim's Dad" in the American Pie series, and overall, his multitude of odd but lovable characters in many movies. He's received two Emmys for his work as well as his own star on the Canadian Walk of Fame.

For years, Eugene has kept audiences entertained with his impressive comedic timing, original characters, and Jewish good looks.

I'm not Jewish - would that matter?

My tea party

2007-01-03T02:30:00.001-08:00

I had a little tea party
This afternoon at three.
Twas very small-
Three guest in all-
Just I, myself and me.

Myself ate all the sandwiches,
While I drank up the tea;
'Twas also I who ate the pie
And passed the cake to me.

The wolves are running...

2006-12-12T09:44:00.000-08:00

The countdown to Christmas has officially begun as I have started the annual ritual of Christmas viewing. Among the various Christmas films, one thing I have watched every Christmas since I can remember is the dramatisation of John Masefield's Box of Delights.

The six-part series was originally aired in 1984 with the last episode being shown on Christmas Eve. Shortly after we bought the BBC videos in Ely and my brother and I watched them every year until I left home. I carried on the tradition on my own and roped my husband into watching them too.
The story follows the exploits of a young boy, Kay Harker, who finds himself drawn into a world of magic and danger when he encounters an old Punch and Judy man.

From one musical extreme to the other...

2006-12-11T08:06:00.000-08:00

A weekend of music, very different music!

On Friday night we went to see DJ Shadow at the UEA which was a great night with a really good atmosphere. I only knew three or four tunes but had a great time. Couldn't really see much of his projections as the venue was so packed and we were near the back but it didn't spoil the enjoyment. I did have a dance but most of the stuff he played was more suited to head-nodding than jumping around.

Last night, in contrast, we went to see the Glenn MIller Orchestra at the Norwich Theatre Royal. It has been a long time since I saw a band like this and had forgotten how much I enjoy the big band sound. Favourite solos were from the clarinet, soprano sax (which was bent at the end and not straight) and the cornet. Superb! We were also treated to some Fred and Ginger style ballroom dancing and a guest appearance from Joan Reagan. I had never heard of her but all the oldies had and she must have been in her late 80s. Here is a photo I have found of her and Terry Thomas!

It's Christmas...

2006-12-08T02:08:00.000-08:00

...well, nearly! Put our tree up last night so we are feeling all Christmassy. This year we have a new addition to our decoration collection - a festive cow to sit on the top. A gift from our friends Sarah and Nick.

The Wonder Stuff

2006-12-07T01:33:00.000-08:00

Went on a road trip down to Essex Uni in Colchester to see my favourite band in the whole wide world. I have seen them many times and, although this wasn't the best gig in terms of atmosphere or banter, I still had a great time. Two days later I still have ringing in my ears and a sore neck but it was worth it!

Mitchell and Webb

2006-11-30T02:04:00.000-08:00

Went to see Mitchell and Webb last night at the Ipswich Regent. They were entertaining but I think I would have found it funnier if I had not seen their recent series as most of the jokes were the same.
I think they both work much better in sit coms, like Peep Show, rather than sketch shows.
Some good improvisation though and the Robert Webb mime bit really made me laugh. Simple but effective!

Dad # 6 - James May

2006-11-27T04:22:00.000-08:00

Here is a Dad that I am struggling to find fault with, except for the fact he is a bit too young to be my father...

Pros:

* He has lots of classic cars
* Has a degree in music
* Is a journalist
* Has nice hair and flowery shirts
* Was sacked from Autocar magazine where he worked as a sub-editor for this reason (from Wikipedia)

In an interview with Richard Allinson on BBC Radio 2 (6th January 2006), May confessed that he was fired in 1992 from Autocar magazine after putting together a hidden message in one issue. At the end of the year the magazine's "Road Test Year Book" supplement was published. Each spread featured four car reviews, and each review started with a large, red, drop-capital letter. May's role was to put the whole supplement together, which "was extremely boring and took several months". He went on to say:

"So I had this idea that if I re-edited the beginnings of all the little tests, I could make these red letters spell out a message through the magazine — which I thought was brilliant. I can't remember exactly what it said but it was to the effect that "You might think this is a really great thing but if you were sitting here making it up you'd realise it's a real pain in the arse." It took me about two months to do it and on the day that it came out I'd actually forgotten that I'd done it because there's a bit of a gap between it being "put to bed" and coming out on the shelves. When I arrived at work that morning everybody was looking at their shoes and I was summoned to the managing director of the company's office. The thing had come out and nobody at work had spotted what I'd done because I'd made the words work around the pages so you never saw a whole word. But all the readers had seen it and they'd written in thinking they'd won a prize or a car or something."

* He could stand up for you in a fight (see below)

Memory lane

2006-11-27T02:01:00.000-08:00

Spent a weekend in London visiting an old friend who I first lived with when I moved out of home nearly a decade ago. Took photos of some of the things which remind me of this distinct period in my life and I thought I would share these with you...

Here is one of my favourite London builings - Tower 42 or the NatWest Tower as it is often known

This is the first place I lived in Camberwell when I moved out of home with friend Albert. I think it was the second flat along in the middle. It was a nice flat until the man above's washing machine flooded and our wall went mouldy. Also someone got shot outside on New Year's Day which didn't exactly endear me to the place. Handy for the city though but not so handy for Battersea, where I worked. We moved from here after about 2/3 months I think, up the hill towards Peckham

This is the Salvation Army building on Denmark Hill in Camberwell which I love. I used to walk past it a lot and couldn't stop staring at it. It is so imposing and encapsulates everything I love in a building. I think I even prefer this to the Tate Modern

This is Fin King Aquatics at Elephant and Castle. I always used to laugh at the name whenever we went past. It tickled me and I don't really know why. It is a shame that we never actually went in to look at the fish

Dad # 5 - Brian Blessed

2006-11-17T01:36:00.000-08:00

Blessed be the girl who has Brian as her father.

Pros:

* He has a booming voice and a handsome beard
* He is an animal lover
* You could get him to say "Gordon's alive!" on a daily basis
* He can do a very good Pavarotti

Cons:

* He already has a daughter who is an actress and therefore would always be the favourite
* He is very much into football
* He scares me a little as I think he is a bit mad

Soup soup the tasty soup soup

2006-11-14T04:53:00.000-08:00

As the temperature outside drops, it heats up in the kitchen. Soup is the most comforting of foods so yesterday I went to the greengrocers and stocked up on veg for a series of soups.
This is the first one made last night - Roasted butternut squash. It is delicious!

Recipe

900g butternut squash
40g butter
350g potatoes
1.2 litres of vegetable stock
100ml single cream
Salt and freshly ground black pepper

Pre-heat the oven to 160c/ 325f/ gas 3

Cut the butternut squash in half. Scoop out the seeds and discard. Place in a roasting tin and dot with 25g of the butter. Bake for about 1 hour until softened and caramelising.

Melt the remaining butter, add the potatoes and stock and simmer for about 20 minutes until the potatoes are tender.

Allow the butternut squash to cool a little, then scoop the flesh out of it's skin and puree with the potato mixture in a liquidiser. Pour into a clean saucepan, stir in the cream, and taste for seasoning.

You can garnish with toasted sunflower seeds if you like. I didn't as I didn't have any.

The Mighty Boosh

2006-11-14T00:43:00.000-08:00

The Boosh is loose on a live DVD - out now!

Scenes of Yorkshire

2006-11-13T03:18:00.000-08:00

Standard nerds

2006-10-23T04:16:00.000-07:00

Let's take a break from fathers and talk about nerds. Everybody loves nerds and these nerds are particulary cool.
I saw The Young Knives in Colchester last week and they were fantastic. Find out more about the band at www.theyoungknives.com

Dad # 4 - Gyles Brandreth

2006-10-20T09:49:00.004-07:00

Pros:
* I already have a foot in the door with him
* He holds the world record for the longest after-dinner speech at over 12 hours long
* He owns a teddy bear museum

Cons:
* I believe he still has those terrible jumpers hidden somewhere
* He's so busy, I doubt he would be home very often
* He has been known to cross-dress on stage

Dad # 3 - Keith Barrett

2006-10-20T09:35:00.000-07:00

Pros:
* He has his own car
* He is a committed father
* He has a nice smiley face

Cons:
* He is welsh
* Not very wealthy
* My best mate Sarah fancies him

Dad # 2 - Father Christmas

2006-10-05T06:37:00.000-07:00

Pros:
* Always brings presents when he visits
* Is always jolly and full of seasonal cheer
* He has flying reindeer

Cons:
* Will only visit once a year
* He brings everyone presents
* I am not entirely sure he exists

Dad # 1 - Quincy ME

2006-09-29T02:00:00.000-07:00

Here is the first alternative dad. He is not necessarily top of the list. The list is fluid and constantly changing but Quincy happens to be the first one I thought of.
For each alternative father I will list the pros and cons and invite your comments on suitability.

Pros:
* He's a very kind, compassionate man who will always fight your causes
* He's a well respected member of the community
* He's probably worth a few quid and does not have any other dependants

Cons:
* He works very long hours and is constantly on call as a medical examiner
* He lives on a boat
* He may not still be alive

An explanation...

2006-09-28T11:23:00.000-07:00

So here's where we begin. I have often thought, what if my dad was someone else? This led me to formulate a top-five list of alternative fathers which over the years I have added and subtracted names from.

This blog is not just about fathers, but it's as good a place as any to start. I don't wish Darth Vader was my father though. Even after all these years, he still scares me!